What Really Makes Me Mad (Bullies Make Me Mad)

Do you want to know what really makes me mad?

I’m talking about the kind of mad where I have to stop and take really deep breaths in an effort to keep my heart rate and blood pressure normal.

The kind of mad where I immediately see a flash of red and I’m surprised that smoke isn’t visibly coming out of my ears.

I have that type of emotional reaction any time someone tries to decide what’s best for me, without giving me an opportunity to provide input. The easiest way to explain what I’m talking about is with a healthcare example, though healthcare is not the only area of life where this happens.

We all know that our healthcare system is fatally flawed. Here’s how it’s supposed to work. You’re supposed to go to the doctor with some concerns or questions and they are supposed to listen to what you have to say. Then, your doctor is supposed to offer some ideas or suggestions of what you could try next.

This interaction is supposed to consist of some give and go between both parties. You should provide some input, they should provide some input, and you should discuss what direction you would like your treatment to go in.

This is obviously not what’s happening inside most primary care offices these days unless you have been blessed with an outlier or you have retained the services of a concierge medicine provider.

It’s much more likely that you have less than five minutes to state your primary complaint and then you’re told what medication would best treat your symptoms. Before you know it, you are whisked out the door before you have had the chance to fully think through whether or not you even want to do whatever your doctor just suggested.

Unfortunately, this type of behavior isn’t limited to your primary care doctor. It’s common now for other people to tell us just enough to further their agenda. We see this type of manipulation on television, in our newsfeeds, and in books. We experience this in our schools, our workplaces, and even in some churches.

I pride myself on attempting to see things from multiple perspectives and points of view. My mom used to call it playing Devils Advocate. I approach things from a place of curiosity and try to understand why people do what they do.

I ask myself what possible motivations may be at play and really attempt to understand the underlying why.

Why would your primary care doctor limit the length of each office visit and limit the number of symptoms or complaints that you are allowed to discuss per visit?

Why would a high school guidance counselor not investigate all possible options with a student rather than steering them into a specific direction?

Why would someone limit your options and try to steer you down a specific logical pathway?

The answers are, of course, varied and I can’t know for certain what people are thinking without asking each of them. However, the answers are often based on (1) the path of least resistance which may show up as laziness or (2) money, power, and control.

So, what should we do? Staying mad and allowing smoke to come out of my ears every time I encounter one of these situations isn’t a very good idea. That type of emotional response is terrible for my adrenal glands, and I prefer to approach life with a happy and positive attitude as much as possible.

So, if we can’t change them, what can we do?

Well, I believe we need to start asking better questions. I’ve mentioned before that the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your questions. I’ve seen this work in my own life and in the lives of my family and friends.

You should definitely start asking better questions.

The tricky part is learning what questions to ask. In order to be as effective as possible, you have to learn to step outside of the situation you’re in and think about it objectively.

You could ask questions like:

• “What possible alternatives could there be?”

• “What would be in my best interest?”

• “How could things be different?”

• “Is there a natural solution?”

• “If I was willing to work hard in the short-term, is there a better answer that would provide better long-term results?”

I’m really good at this type of question asking and problem solving.

If you’re ready to change the way you approach health, wellness, or disease, then I might be able to help you too. Even if you aren’t experiencing health issues right now, you would benefit from this different way of thinking.

There are a few ways I can help you, depending on your specific health goals. The first thing you should do is to schedule your free consultation with us here. That way, we can chat and learn more about your health goals and what symptoms you would like to improve. You can schedule your free consult here.

If you already know you want to start working towards improving your health, then the 90-Day Jumpstart might be right for you. Check it out over on our services page. There are three videos available for you to watch, taken directly from days 13, 16, and 71 of the program.

Either way, I hope you stop and think about where people are coming from. What’s their agenda? Do they have your best interests at heart? Should you be asking better questions? And if you need help figuring out what questions to ask, let me know. I’m happy to chat and help you problem-solve.

Bye for now.

P.S. You have the right to be presented with all of the options so that you can make your own, informed, healthcare decisions.  Don't allow yourself to be bullied or coerced into doing things that you are not comfortable with.  If you need time to think about whatever treatment plan is being recommended, that's okay.  

As always, please let me know if I can serve you in any way.